Cucumber Shaker with Vinegar (Printer version)

Crisp cucumbers tossed in rice vinegar and sesame oil for a tangy, savory side.

# What You'll Need:

→ Vegetables

01 - 2 medium cucumbers, chilled
02 - 2 spring onions, finely sliced

→ Seasonings & Umami

03 - 1 ½ teaspoons fine sea salt
04 - 2 teaspoons granulated sugar
05 - 1 tablespoon rice vinegar (unseasoned)
06 - 1 tablespoon toasted sesame oil
07 - 1 teaspoon monosodium glutamate (MSG)
08 - ½ teaspoon soy sauce (gluten-free if necessary)
09 - 1 small garlic clove, finely minced
10 - ¼ teaspoon white pepper (optional)
11 - 1 teaspoon toasted sesame seeds (plus extra for garnish)
12 - 1–2 teaspoons chili crisp or chili oil (optional)

# Directions:

01 - Wash and dry cucumbers. Trim ends, halve each lengthwise, then gently smash flat sides until cracked using a chefs knife or rolling pin. Chop into bite-sized pieces and place in a large bowl.
02 - Add sea salt and sugar to cucumbers. Toss thoroughly and rest for 5 minutes to release excess moisture.
03 - Pour off any liquid expelled from cucumbers after resting.
04 - Incorporate rice vinegar, toasted sesame oil, MSG, soy sauce, minced garlic, optional white pepper, and toasted sesame seeds. Toss to coat evenly.
05 - Mix in chili crisp or chili oil if desired to add spice and depth.
06 - Fold in finely sliced spring onions to the mixture.
07 - Taste and adjust seasoning as needed. Serve immediately or chill for 10 minutes for enhanced crunch.
08 - Sprinkle extra toasted sesame seeds on top before serving.

# Expert Advice:

01 -
  • It takes less time than waiting for takeout and tastes like you ordered something secret off-menu.
  • The smashing part is weirdly therapeutic, especially after a long day.
  • MSG does exactly what it's supposed to do here—it makes everything taste more like itself, only louder.
  • You can eat it straight from the bowl with chopsticks and feel like you're doing something virtuous.
02 -
  • If you skip the salting step, the cucumbers will water down the dressing and taste like wet regret.
  • MSG is not scary—it's a naturally occurring amino acid that makes tomatoes and cheese taste good too.
  • Smashing the cucumbers isn't just for show; it creates craggy surfaces that hold onto the dressing in a way that neat slices never will.
03 -
  • Use a jar with a tight lid to shake everything together if you want to feel like you're in the video that started it all.
  • Double the garlic if you're eating this alone and don't have to talk to anyone afterward.
  • If you can't find MSG at the store, look in the spice aisle near the salt or ask someone—it's more common than people admit.
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