Save to Pinterest I stumbled on this recipe during a heat wave when the thought of turning on the stove made me want to lie on the kitchen floor. A friend had sent me a video of someone shaking cucumbers in a jar with MSG, and I thought it was a joke until I tried it. The crunch, the tang, the absurd umami hit—it was like discovering a cheat code for vegetables. Now I keep cucumbers in the crisper just in case I need something cold, fast, and ridiculously satisfying.
The first time I made this for a group, someone asked if I'd bought it from a restaurant. I showed them the empty cucumber peels and the jar I'd shaken everything in, and they didn't believe me until I made it again in front of them. It became the thing I brought to potlucks when I didn't want to bake or explain myself. People started asking for the recipe before they'd even finished their first bite.
Ingredients
- Cucumbers: Use the firmest, coldest ones you can find—the crunch is half the point, and warm cucumbers are a tragedy.
- Spring onions: They add a sharp, grassy bite that cuts through the richness; regular onions are too aggressive here.
- Sea salt: Fine salt dissolves faster and pulls moisture out of the cucumbers without leaving gritty bits behind.
- Sugar: Balances the vinegar and stops the whole thing from tasting like a science experiment.
- Rice vinegar: The unseasoned kind is key—pre-seasoned versions throw off the balance and make it too sweet.
- Toasted sesame oil: A little goes a long way; too much and it tastes like you're eating incense.
- MSG: This is not optional if you want the recipe to taste like the version that broke the internet.
- Soy sauce: Just a splash for color and depth; use tamari if gluten is a concern.
- Garlic: Mince it as finely as you can stand—big chunks are jarring in something this delicate.
- White pepper: It has a sharper, more floral heat than black pepper and doesn't leave visible specks.
- Sesame seeds: Toasted ones add a nutty crunch; raw seeds taste like missed potential.
- Chili crisp: This is where you decide how much chaos you want in your life.
Instructions
- Smash the cucumbers:
- Wash and dry them, trim the ends, then halve them lengthwise. Lay your knife flat over each half and press down until you hear a satisfying crack. The uneven edges catch the dressing better than neat slices ever could.
- Salt and wait:
- Toss the smashed pieces with salt and sugar, then let them sit for 5 minutes. You'll see a small puddle form at the bottom of the bowl—that's the bitterness leaving.
- Drain and dress:
- Pour off the liquid, then add the vinegar, sesame oil, MSG, soy sauce, garlic, white pepper, and sesame seeds. Toss everything with your hands if you're brave; it's faster and more even than a spoon.
- Add heat:
- Stir in chili crisp or chili oil to taste. Start with less than you think you need—you can always add more, but you can't take it back.
- Finish and serve:
- Fold in the spring onions, taste for balance, and adjust if needed. Serve immediately or let it chill for 10 minutes if you want it even crisper. Garnish with extra sesame seeds because it looks better that way.
Save to Pinterest I made this once for a friend who swore she didn't like cucumbers, and she ate the entire bowl with a soup spoon. She didn't apologize, but she did ask me to make it again the next week. That's when I realized this recipe doesn't taste like cucumbers—it tastes like proof that the right seasoning can change your mind about anything.
What to Serve It With
This works as a side for grilled meats, especially anything charred and fatty that needs a sharp, cold contrast. I've eaten it alongside fried rice, plain white rice with an egg on top, and once, directly from the bowl while standing in front of the open fridge at midnight. It's the kind of thing that makes other dishes taste better just by being on the table.
How to Make It Your Own
If you don't have spring onions, fresh coriander works, though it'll taste more herbal and less sharp. Dill is surprisingly good here too, if you're feeling Eastern European about it. Some people add a pinch of Sichuan peppercorn for numbing heat, and I won't stop you. If you want it sweeter, add another half teaspoon of sugar, but don't go overboard or it'll taste like dessert.
Storage and Leftovers
This is best eaten fresh, but it'll hold in the fridge for up to a day if you keep it in an airtight container. The cucumbers will soften slightly and release more liquid, so drain it off before serving again. I've never had leftovers last longer than that because someone always finishes them before I get the chance.
- If you're making it ahead, wait to add the spring onions and chili crisp until just before serving.
- Cold cucumbers straight from the crisper make a huge difference—don't skip chilling them if you have time.
- Taste it before you serve it; sometimes the cucumbers are sweeter or more bitter depending on the season, and you'll need to adjust.
Save to Pinterest This is the recipe I make when I need to remember that cooking doesn't have to be complicated to be worth it. Sometimes the best things are just cold, crunchy, and shaken together in under ten minutes.
Recipe FAQs
- → How should cucumbers be prepared for best texture?
Slice the cucumbers lengthwise, gently smash with a knife or rolling pin to crack them, then cut into bite-sized pieces. This helps absorb the seasonings better and creates a crisp texture.
- → What role does rice vinegar play in this dish?
Rice vinegar lends a mild tanginess that brightens the salad while balancing the savory and umami flavors from the sesame oil, soy sauce, and MSG.
- → Can the soy sauce be substituted for gluten-free options?
Yes, tamari or gluten-free soy sauce are suitable alternatives to make this dish gluten-conscious without compromising taste.
- → Is MSG necessary, and what does it add?
MSG enhances the umami depth and savory richness, intensifying the overall flavor without overpowering the freshness of the cucumbers.
- → How can heat be adjusted in this salad?
Add chili crisp or chili oil to taste for mild to moderate heat, catering to your preferred spice level.
- → What is the best way to store leftovers?
Keep the salad chilled in an airtight container and consume within 1-2 days to maintain optimal freshness and crunch.